It's been a while my blog following friends! Life has been kind of crazy lately. Actually I guess compared to the past 8 months it hasn't been that crazy and that's why I haven't written in so long. I am getting more and more normal, which means I have my kids most of the time now by myself, though my Mom is just upstairs and more than willing to help at any given moment. My parents are pretty awesome like that.
Last week I went to Mexico. I went to a Doctor in Tijuana who specializes in stem cell therapy and homeopathy. He also does a live blood analysis which basically means he pricks my finger, takes a drop of blood, then puts it under a microscope and my cells come up on a computer screen. It's pretty amazing. Last time I went was in July and I had recently come out of the hospital because of a hemibalism (crazy arm syndrome) so I still had a bunch of serious crap in my blood. It took Dr. Calzada like 5 minutes just to find any normal cells. They were almost all deficient in something whether it was vitamin B, antioxidants, omegas and who knows what else. He put me on a diet which contained of no red meat, very little chicken, lots of fish, no sugar, no white flour, no added gluten, lots of water, and making other good choices. I was really good about following it until around Thanksgiving. Then it was time to go back. This time when I had a live cell analysis at least healthy cells popped up first thing. But I am still taking a diuretic which has been flushing out a lot of important things my body needs like calcium, potassium and Iron. My Iron levels are super low. But now I am back home and once again determined to fix my body. So Santa will most likely be filling my stocking with oranges and apples this year.
Charity and Katrine watched Harvey and Jorgen for me while I was gone. When I got home, poor little Harvey had the flu. Of course I was covering him in hugs and kisses and cuddles. So...now I have the flu. Stomach flues have never been fun for anyone, but for me tonight has been kind of traumatic. This year, the only times I have thrown up have been when I was really, really sick. Like deathly sick. So waking up tonight to puke flooded in all of those terrible nights sitting in a chair upstairs uncontrollably throwing up over and over for days. For me, it almost feels like puking is the reason I still wouldn't pass the drunk driving walk on a line test, typing is so hard, changing a diaper takes 5 minutes (poor Jorgen). my left arm starts to curl up and my hand spasms out so I seriously look handicap every time I do anything physically straining and I can't look up without getting so dizzy I almost fall over. Obviously I know throwing up didn't do that but I just did so much of it this year that I kind of just feel like I should never have to do it again. Come on, couldn't God just do me that little favor?
I feel like my blog is such a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes I write and am totally content, other times I am pissed off and this time I am sick. My life is a roller coaster of emotions.
Speaking of emotions, I don't think I ever wrote about the time I attempted to sing in church about a month ago. That was the most embarrassing day I have ever had, and not like the "I peed my pants in elementary school" kind of embarrassing. (If you are sick of reading me whine, you should probably just stop reading because I feel pretty whinny today.) Anyway, last month I was asked to sing in sacrament meeting for our congregation. This is something I used to love to do because it would fill me with the spirit and I really felt like I could inspire others through my voice. I was excited to feel the spirit because I have been struggling lately. The stroke has slightly affected my singing voice, but not so much that I sound bad, I just need to practice a lot which is something I never had to do before. I did, however know I couldn't cry. Unfortunately, I didn't practice and I chose "Where Can I Turn for Peace." Stupid, right? I got up there and sang the lyrics "Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace?" I then made the terrible mistake of looking at my family, especially Cedric and I just BROKE DOWN. I wish I could say it was because I felt the spirit and was having some kind of spiritual experience, but nope...I was feeling sorry for myself. I was SOBBING with a couple of words in between. I felt so stupid. I promised myself I wouldn't ever sing in church again but of course I will because I HATE this stroke and the effects it has had on my life and refuse to let it take me over. My improvements may be slow but I am determined to keep improving until it is over and I am all better. You Ban Fa!
This is the hardest time I have ever had and hopefully ever will have. But it's not going to change until I change it. That is much easier said than done but it will be done.
This is the hardest time I have ever had and hopefully ever will have. But it's not going to change until I change it. That is much easier said than done but it will be done.
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